Atlas
by Daniela Marie Pifferrer
Summary: She was Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulder. He was there every step of the way, helping her. But after seven years, Kathryn might have a thing or two to learn from Chakotay.
1. What Kind of Man?

You're a holy fool all colored blue

Red feet upon the floor

You do such damage, how do you manage

Trying to crawl in back for more

Florence and the Machine, "What Kind of Man"

 **Chakotay**

As soon as the doors opened, he saw her. She was sitting on the couch by the viewscreen, cross-legged, with a sleepy Naomi in her arms. She looked up at him as she took a lean finger to her lips, asking him to be quiet. She looked beautiful out of uniform, hair down from her usual hairdo. He locked eyes with her for a minute, then she spoke.

"Can I help you, Commander?" It was soft, as if not to wake the child, but he knew there was more to it. He knew she was exhausted.

"When was the last time you had any sleep?" he inquired, looking at her intently.

"About sixteen hours ago. I was on the bridge for about thirteen straight. On the way back to my quarters I ran into Samantha. She was looking for Neelix, but he was away in a security exercise Tuvok programmed. Her shift was about to start, she needed a babysitter for Naomi and I offered to help her." Chakotay pursed his lips, hands on his hips; a gesture he had learned from watching Kathryn all these years. Kathryn retaliated with a death stare; she knew him enough to know he was about to say something.

"Kathryn, I know better than anyone that commanding a starship is no easy task, but you need to rest." His voice, previously barely above a whisper, got slightly louder. She gestured for him to be quiet and observed as Naomi slightly fussed in her arms. Kathryn ran a hand through her hair, removing it away from her face, then turned to look at him.

"Can you, please, keep your voice down? You're going to wake her up!" Kathryn protested, "And for the record, Commander, I don't need you to keep tabs on me. I am sure Seven would appreciate that."

That stung. It took him by surprise and he felt a pang in his stomach. This was getting out of hand, and it was his doing. He deserved it for being such a fool. He had abandoned her when they had only weeks to get home. She was Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, caring about everybody else's problems but her own. He wanted to protect her, but now it seemed impossible. She'd pushed him away.

Chakotay entered his quarters, closed the door and walked straight to the shower. He ordered the computer to turn it on as he shed his uniform, then got in.

As he let the cold water wash over him, Kathryn's words reverberated in his head.

" 'For the record, Commander, I don't need you to keep tabs on me. I am sure Seven would appreciate that.' "

His head hit the wall again and again. How could he had been so stupid? If he loved her so much, why did he kept on hurting her? He had waited seven years to be by her side and now, just with weeks to get home, he'd decided to betray her. What kind of man was he? What kind of man loves likes this?


	2. The Hardest of Hearts

Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts

\- Florence and the Machine, "Hardest of Hearts"

 **Kathryn**

She saw him storm out of her quarters. She hasn't meant a word she'd said earlier. It just came out, like a reflex. She was sure she'd blew any chances at a possible friendship with Chakotay.

Kathryn felt tears begin to form, but she didn't bother brushing them away. And so, she cried silently, until a tiny hand swept them away. Kathryn looked down at Naomi, eyes wide and blue looking back at her.

"Captain? Why are you crying? Did something happen to my mom? The child asked looking straight at her, blue eyes piercing her soul.

"No," Kathryn admitted as she brushed away what tears remained, "Nothing happened to your mother. I am crying because of something else."

"Something? Or someone?" The question surprised her, particularly because of who was asking. Was she that transparent that a child could read her like a book?

"Someone," Kathryn admitted.

"Is it because of the Commander? Because he's dating Seven of Nine?"

"Well, it's most certainly true that news flies at warp ten in this place," A smile on her face, "I wonder how you know that?"

"Hey," Naomi fired back, "I'm little, not blind." Kathryn laughed and Naomi added, "Since I'm not blind, Captain, I can see that makes you unhappy. Why is that?" Kathryn sighed.

"I'll tell you when you're older," The child kept quiet for a few seconds, then:

"Okay, I'm older." Kathryn laughed.

"Silly goose! Come here, " she said helping the kid up so that she was sitting on her lap, "It makes me sad, Naomi, because we're all going home now and I won't see you as often," she lied. Naomi looked at her, then shook her head.

"No," she said, "That's not it. What is it, Captain? The truth." Kathryn sighed, nodded, then answered.

"Smart girl; you're right. I am sad because of the Commander. Because I love him."

"Then why is he with Seven and not with you?"

"The Commander and I have a long history, Naomi. I've known him since way before you were born. I knew he loved me, he told me so himself, but I was set on getting us home. I can't blame him if he decided to move on."

"Why not?"

"Because Naomi, part of loving someone is knowing when to let them go, so they can be with somebody who makes them truly happy. I love Chakotay and I love Seven enough to let them be happy, even if it is with each other."

"Then why are you sad?" And just then the doorbell rang.

"Come in." It was Samantha. Naomi jumped from Kathryn's lap and ran to her mother's arms

"Hey, Monkey," she said as she picked her up, "Thank you for keeping an eye out for her, Captain, I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

"No problem at all, Sam"

* * *

There she was, sitting in the corner of Maestro Da Vinci's workshop, trying to concentrate on writing down her thoughts on pen and paper. Except her only quantum of solace wasn't helping her. Her mind kept wandering off to Chakotay and the harsh words that came out of her mouth earlier that day. She wanted to apologize, to tell him how she felt, that she loved him with every fiber of her being. And then she took a deep breath.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, this is pointless!" she said, flustered to the nines, "Computer, end program," she stood up with the intention to walk out of the holodeck, but stopped and asked the computer to locate Chakotay. The answer came back instantly.

"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters."

"Locate Seven of Nine."

"Seven of Nine is on the bridge." _Well,_ she thought, _at least they're not together._

Kathryn started walking toward Chakotay's quarters, but the static hum of her comm badge stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Paris to Janeway," she tapped the comm lightly before answering.

"Janeway here."

"Captain, please report to the bridge. One of the Admirals from the Starfleet armada want to speak with you."

"Very well, put him through to my quarters. I'm on my way."

"Understood, Paris out."


	3. Stay or Run

I know we said some things We really don't mean But, in the end, it doesn't matter All I know is there's a part of me Missing when we're not together -Oriana, "Stay or Run"

 **Kathryn**

That inopportune call from her superior disrupted Kathryn's original plans. For all she knew, Seven could be with him right now. They only had a couple more hours on _Voyager_ before they reached Earth. She needed to apologize as soon as possible before they all went their separate ways.

"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay," she ordered, a hand going up to her forehead. She had a splitting headache.

"Commander Chakotay is on the bridge," came the reply. She replicated a glass of water, a hypospray for the headache and started walking towards the bridge.

Her walk to the Bridge was mostly quiet. She ran into a couple of crewmen, but they didn't speak to her; barely even noticed her. Other than Naomi, that bumped into her as she was looking for Neelix, she didn't speak to anyone.

"Captain on the Bridge!" Tuvok's voice, deep and husky, was heard as soon as the titanium alloy doors opened. Everybody standing at their stations turned to look at her, and those who were sitting down stood up.

"As you were," Kathryn eased up her hands and gestured for them to sit down. She was touched (and proud) by the level of respect and discipline among her crew. Maquis and Starfleet alike.

She was surprised to see Tom Paris at the helm.

"Paris!" she called him out.

"Yes, Ma'am?" came back the reply. Janeway could hear the panic in his voice. She smiled subtly.

"Last I heard, your wife just had a baby. What the hell are you still doing here? Do me a favor and get your ass to sickbay, stat!" Tom smiled.

"Aye, Captain!"

"Sam, take the helm," Samantha nodded and did as asked. "How's everything looking, Harry?"

"Everything in order, Captain."

"Good," Kathryn smiled again, "Commander, a word? Tuvok, you have the Bridge!"

"Aye, Captain," replied the Vulcan and moved to the center of the room as a Blue-shouldered ensign came to replace him.

 **Chakotay**

He followed her into her Ready Room. Not a word was said between them on the way there. He let her walk a couple feet in front of him, and as he tagged behind her he wondered what she wanted to talk to him about. _No doubt, work_ he thought.

Chakotay was astounded when she asked him to sit down and brought him a cup of herbal tea.

"I owe you an apology, Chakotay." _Well, at least she was using his name again, that had to certainly be a start._

"For what?"

"My little... outburst, for the lack of a better word... from earlier. I had no right to speak to you the way I did; especially when you were just trying to watch out for me. I am truly and deeply sorry."

"It's only natural when you're on your feet twenty hours a day. Just make sure you get some sleep before we touch Earth, okay? I want you fully awake to notice your great accomplishment."

"You've been by my side every step of the way, holding me together when I faltered," her hand subconsciously touched his, draped over the back of the sofa, "All these years... no matter what happens or what I tell you, you're still here."

"Kathryn," he cut her off, "Whatever happens after we land, I want you to know that I love you. This angry warrior will always be here, waiting for his woman warrior."

"And what happens to Seven?"

"There is nothing between Seven and I!" Kathryn averted her eyes to the floor. Tears threatened to surface; Chakotay could tell.

"Hey," he said, voice soft and barely above a whisper, "don't do this. Please, don't push me away. There is nothing but friendship between Seven and I." He noticed her light frame shake with the tears. She was sobbing; and, oh, how he hated it!

Chakotay shifted from the sofa to the floor, right before Kathryn. Her eyes fell on her hands.

"Hey, can you look at me?" She moved not a muscle, not a centimeter. "Please, Kathryn, look at me." Nothing. "Look at me and tell me you don't love me as much as I love you, and I assure you that I'll leave you alone and move on with my life. It'll be hard, it'll hurt, but I'll see to it that..."

"Oh, for fuck's sake! Chakotay!" She cut him off, "Shut the hell up, will you?" She had been trying to hush him for what seemed like hours. To that, he had no objection. He wasn't expecting her to talk.

She still had tears in her eyes and was a mess of emotion, but she had a smile brighter than all suns of the multiverse. His eyes met hers, finally, and before he could understand what was going on, her lips were on his. He had often dreamed of this moment; the minute when their lips would finally crash together in an act of love.

 **Kathryn**

She kissed him like she had dreamt of kissing him since the day she met him. A kiss so soft and passionate and every feeling she had bottled for the last seven years. How had she managed? She needed him in her life; he was her everything. She realized, now, that it was foolish of her to think that, somehow, the sentiment would disappear if she simply ignored it.

The lack of oxygen forced them to break apart. Both their chests heaved in a syncopated rhythm, like music.

"Chakotay, I know that I don't say this often," Janeway admitted, chest heavy with emotion, "But..."

"But..?"

"I love you." She blurted it out, much like she'd blurted out those hateful words earlier. "I love you with every fiber of my being." Chakotay smiled and pulled her in to kiss her again.

"Do you have any idea of how long I've waited to hear you say those words?" His smile was contagious; dimples on full display.

"I love you," she said again, and once more Chakotay kissed her. It was sweet, tender, transmitting every bit of love he had kept locked away all these years.

"I love you," he repeated over and over again, and Kathryn Janeway's eyes filled with tears.


	4. Every Time We Touch

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling

And every time we kiss I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last  
Need you by my side

'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static  
And every time we kiss I reach for the sky  
Can't you hear my heart beat so I can't let you go  
Want you in my life

\- Cascada, "Every Time We Touch"

 **Chakotay**

She fell asleep in his arms. Such a day emotional turmoil took a toll on Kathryn and she was exhausted. Chakotay commed Tuvok and asked for no interruptions and to tell him the Bridge was his. The Vulcan agreed and confirmed his logic about the Captain's sleeping habits.

With very little effort, he lifted her up and walked to the turbolift. He called for deck three and observed as she nuzzled closer to him. She opened her eyes slightly as if to corroborate he was still there.

"Hey," he said gently, "I'm here, go back to sleep."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked dazedly.

"To your quarters, so you can get some proper sleep," she nuzzled closer to him, craving his warmth, "Do you want me to carry you there or do you prefer to walk?" he asked, well aware of Kathryn's ultimate fear.

"It's okay, you do it." She seemed completely relaxed.

"Why, Captain, aren't you worried about someone seeing us?' he joked.

"Frankly, my love," she replied, "I am much too tired to give a damn." She nuzzled back up against him and closed her eyes once again.

Once in her quarters, Chakotay walked into the bedroom and sat Kathryn down on the bed as gently as possible, as if she were made of glass. _Glass my ass,_ he thought _more like duranium._ Kathryn Janeway was no damsel in distress; she was the toughest woman he'd ever known; both physically and emotionally.

He removed the standard-issue uniform jacket, the combadge, and the insignias, removed her boots and tucked her into bed. He bent down and kissed her temple softly as he removed auburn locks away from her face.

"Sweet dreams, my love," he whispered into her ear. As he turned to leave, a lean hand on his wrist stopped him.

"Don't go!" she pleaded, her blue eyes met his.

"I won't," he promised, gently releasing his hand from her grip to remove his uniform jacket, combadge, and insignias, setting them aside next to hers. He walked to the other side of the bed, sitting to remove his boots.

"Computer, lights at 5%," he asked and instantly the room took a low lighting that was enough for Kathryn to sleep and for him to look at her. As he rolled into place, next to her, she drifted toward him and placed her head on his chest; an arm draped lazily around his waist, sliding through his torso and coming to an end right above his heart. He wasted no time in pulling her close. They complemented each other perfectly as if they were made to be together.

 **Kathryn**

The lights got brighter suddenly, accompanied by the insistent computer voice.

"The time is 0700 hours." Kathryn shook herself out of sleep and noticed Chakotay staring back at her.

"Good morning, Commander," she said, voice husky from sleep, "I trust you slept well?"

"Oh, believe me, Captain. That is the best I've slept in years." He laughed, she kissed him and then repeated softly.

"Good morning, my love."

"Good morning, Beautiful," said he.

"I want to wake up like this every day."

"From now on, you will." Another kiss was shared. Then, Kathryn groaned, a smile beginning to form.

"I hate to break it to you, Commander, but we're due on the Bridge in 20 minutes."

"Well, there's that."

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you," Kathryn kissed him one more time, then kicked away the covers, "I talked to Admiral Paris earlier. Due to your excellent performance in _Voyager_ these seven years, you and every Maquis crewman onboard have been fully pardoned. As soon as we set foot on Earth you and the rest of the Maquis crew can go as you please." Kathryn saw Chakotay's expression become euphoric.

"How did you..?"

"Arguing. Hours.. and hours.. of arguing. You'd be surprised at what a woman in love is capable of doing."

"Especially if said woman is Kathryn Janeway, am I right?" Chakotay added.

"Yes, especially if said woman is me," Kathryn beamed at him. He knew her so well.

 **Chakotay**

Kathryn came out of the bathroom ten minutes later. Chakotay observed her carefully as he finished adjusting his uniform. She came into view wearing nothing but a thin, pink silk robe. Her short hair was tousled and wet from the shower.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" She had her back to him, but he could feel her rolling her eyes.

"I'm not staring at you," he replied.

"Yes," she turned around to look at him, "you are. I've known you for nearly a decade. Don't you think I know when you're staring at me?" Chakotay blushed.

"Are you some sort of sorceress? Because I still don't get how you do that."

"Consider it flattering, Commander," she tapped her palm to his shoulder twice, "it means I know you well enough to know certain things about you that not a lot of people would." And she went into the bedroom to change.

She came out five minutes later, immaculate as always. Chakotay handed her a cup of coffee, which she gladly took. He observed her take in the first sip.

"Okay, you can now start giving me the lecture."

"What lecture?"

"Well, you know... The one where you go on and on about how much coffee I drink. The one you've been giving me every morning since the day I met you." He laughed. It was a good, earnest laugh.

"Ah, THAT ONE," he said, pulling her to him for a kiss, " You know what, Kathryn? I give up. You win. I hereby declare impossible the task of separating you from your caffeine addiction." He kissed her again, then they were out the door and into the hallway.

As always, he let her take a few steps before him and lagged behind. It was an instinctive response, natural as breathing. She stopped and turned to look at him intently.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

"Yes, Captain," Chakotay replied.

"Then why the hell are you falling behind and not walking beside me? And why are you calling me 'Captain' all of a sudden?" He wasn't sure what to answer, so he opted to stay silent instead and walked quickly to her side. They walked inside the turbolift in silence, and Kathryn called for the Bridge.

"Halt turbolift," she ordered a few seconds later when she sensed the strangeness stretch between them. Chakotay frowned.

"Now, you listen to me, Commander," she said, blue eyes narrowed on brown ones, "We might have just walked out of my quarters, but that doesn't change anything of what I said last night."

"Kathryn, I thought..."

"Forget what you thought, Chakotay," she interrupted him, " I might be a Starfleet officer, I might be the Captain, but that doesn't change the fact that you're not 'just my first officer.' You're so much more than that! You're my best friend, my partner in crime. You're the man I love, the one that I chose to share what life I have left with. I don't know if you've noticed before, Darling; but we're not kids anymore and we're not getting any younger."

His eyes were on the floor now, and she gently placed her index finger under his chin to get him to look at her.

"I want you to look into my eyes and tell me what you see," he was silent. She took one of his hands and placed it on her heart.

"You feel that?" she tried again, this time he nodded, "That's because of you. Because you're with me. Every time you touch me, every time you kiss me, every time I look at you my heart beats like it wants to get out of my chest. All because of you. I am done, Chakotay. I am tired of lying to myself and to the world, so I'm done. I'm done trying to be someone I'm not, I'm done hiding. Chakotay, I love you. I always have, I always will. You're my one and only," she offered him her hand, "So, what do you say, Commander? Are you in for accompanying me to the Bridge, this time as my partner?"

Chakotay smiled, taking her hand and squeezing it lightly.

"You had me at 'Halt Turbolift'"


	5. Mama, I'm Coming Home

Times have changed And times are strange Here I come, But I ain't the same -Ozzy Osbourne, "Mama, I'm Coming Home"

 **Kathryn**

"Captain on the Bridge!"

"As you were!" Through the corner of her eye, she caught the familiar silhouette of the former Borg and smiled, "Status."

"Everything alright, Ma'am," said Samantha, sitting at the helm, "At this rate, I calculate we'll reach Earth in approximately three hours."

"That's great news, Sam. Thank you." She turned to look at Chakotay, "Commander, I want every crewman on board in dress uniform, have then report to Cargo Bay 2 in an hour. As for the senior staff... I want you all here. We will be the last group to leave _Voyager."_

"Very well, Captain." And he went about to make the announcement.

Finally. After seven years of floating in space, finally, they were home. She could see the intense blue of the planet she so badly wanted to reach through the viewscreen in her quarters and asked herself whether she was truly ready to face the real world. Was she really prepared to break away from her ship and her crew? Was she really prepared to reacquaint herself with everyone she'd left behind seven years ago? A long time had passed. She was not the same Kathryn Janeway that left her apartment in San Francisco in a three-week-long mission nearly a decade ago. She was older, wiser, in love with a wonderful man and ready to start a family at last.

Strong arms circling her waist brought her out of her daydream and she leaned into the familiar touch. Her hands subconsciously met his as she reclined her head on his shoulder.

"I don't know if I'm ready," she confessed.

"Oh?"

"I don't know if I'm ready to leave _Voyager._ " Chakotay was speechless. All she ever wanted, all she ever thought about was reaching Earth.

"Don't get me wrong, Sweetheart, I am glad we made it back with time to spare. No more lives under my responsibility. It's just... Well, I guess I made my peace with the length of our journey a long time ago. It was my goal to bring us home, and now..."

"You have no idea what to do," he finished for her.

She nodded.

"Well," he said, a hint of mirth in his tone, "I have a couple of ideas myself. How does this sound?" He spun her softly to look into her eyes, "A house far away from the busy hum of the city, a huge garden, you, me, a dog and a couple kids running around. What do you say?"

"Why, Commander is this some sort of proposal?"

"Maybe," he blushed.

"Then I reckon you already know the answer."

"Yes?" It came out a question. kathryn kissed him.

"I don't know, you tell me," she beamed at him. His lips took hers, and it was just like their first kiss. It was sweet, soft. He tasted like mint and a hint of something else she wasn't aware of.

"Captain to the Bridge," they were interrupted. They pulled away reluctantly. Kathryn took a minute to compose herself.

"On my way," she replied. Chakotay looked at her.

"If there's something I won't miss from _Voyager_ it's Tuvok's timing." Kathryn laughed. "Oh, by the way, everything is ready. The crew is dressed, formed as requested and waiting for instructions."

"Well done, Commander. Consider this your last your last mission." She thought for a moment, "You know, on a more serious note, your family is going to be there."

"So is yours," he stated the fact, "Why? Are you afraid of how they might react to us being together?

"Trust me, Honey, I am more worried about your family than mine."

"You've nothing to worry about, my sister will love you."

"When are we going to tell the crew about us?"

"Oh, believe me, Captain, I'd be surprised if they didn't know already. News fly at warp ten in this place."

"Captain on the Bridge." She was overwhelmed by a burst of applause. There they all were, everyone at their stations and in dress uniform. Tuvok and Harry, B'Elanna with her newborn daughter strapped to her chest, Samantha and Naomi Wildman, Tom at the helm, the Doctor smiling at her, and then her eyes found Seven, clad in a science-blue dress uniform and the biggest smile she'd ever seen her.

She approached the former Borg and shot her a scrutinizing look up and down. There was something different about her. And then it clicked. Her implants were completely gone. She shot her another incredulous look.

"The Doctor," she said simply. Kathryn turned around to look at the EMH.

"Excellent work, Doctor," she praised him.

"Thank you, Captain," the hologram replied, "By medium of a very complex technique, I've managed to isolate the external implants and extract them without disrupting their normal functions." A small, little hand made her turn around, and Naomi came into her field of view holding out a bouquet of roses. They were very similar to a certain one a certain someone had given her once in her ready room. After hugging the little girl she looked over her shoulder at Chakotay and mouthed a thank you.

She saw B'Elanna talking to Tom and started walking in their direction. The proud father had his daughter in arms. Kathryn approached them and sat a hand on Paris' back.

"I see she has you dominated," she whispered to him.

"Like you have no idea," Paris whispered back.

"B'Elanna, good to see you back on your feet," she hugged her half-Klingon Chief Engineer then turned to the baby, "And who have we here?" B'Elanna took the infant from Tom and turned to look at Kathryn.

"We named her after two very strong women. Miral after my mother, and Kathryn after you. To the both of us it is important that she grows up to become a brave, strong, independent, and resilient woman. Who better than two warriors like you and my mother to show her that? My mother is no longer alive, but you are; so we have something to ask you. Would you do us the honor of being Miral Kathryn's godmother?"

Kathryn was stoked and speechless. She fought long and hard to keep her emotions in check, then looked at the expectant couple.

"The honor is all mine."

 **Chakotay**

Chakotay observed as she interacted with Naomi and Miral, the rest of the senior staff, Seven until she called him to her side.

"We have to tell you, guys, something," she searched for his hand and laced her fingers with his, took a deep breath, and finally admitted, "Commander Chakotay and I are together; as a couple. We... uh... We are in love."

There it was. She'd said it. No more hiding. There was silence and he saw her face pale for a second. Then Tom yelled at Harry.

"Well, Harry looks like someone owes me a month's worth of rations!" Kathryn's face was priceless.

"You two were betting on us?"

"Both of them and the whole ship, apparently. "

"How long has this been going on?"

"For years now," Chakotay admitted. Kathryn chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"And why exactly did I never heard about this, Commander?" Her eyebrows perched up as she looked at him.

"Well, you said so yourself. A little harmless fun never hurt anybody." Kathryn scoffed, then turned to Tom and Harry.

"How exactly did you know?"

"Well, Captain. You two weren't necessarily the most professional command team. Plus, we've been observing you for years now."

"Well, Tom, at the very least you were right."

Suddenly a hail interrupted their cheerful banter.

"Captain, it's Starfleet. They're hailing us."

"On screen, Harry."

 **Kathryn**

Forty-five minutes later, _Voyager_ was finally back on Earth. The main yard of Starfleet Academy littered with people: Family and friends, Starfleet admirals, press, etc.

Kathryn walked to Cargo Bay 2, hand in hand with Chakotay, followed by the rest of the senior staff. As she entered the hallway guiding to it, another burst of applause overwhelmed her. This was it; the final mile. She felt so proud of everybody onboard _Voyager_ and of those who didn't quite made it back along with the rest, for one reason or another.

She thought for a minute of all those people who sacrificed themselves to save them. She thought of the many they lost when they first got stranded. She thought of Kes; sweet Kes whose assention got them closer to home and renewed their long lost hope. She thought of the Borg children rescued, of Neelix who left them to live what was left of his life with his family. And last but not least she thought of the Admiral and dedicated a silent prayer to history accompanied by a thank-you.

As the doors to Cargo Bay 2 opened, Kathryn observed as her crew abandoned the once-top-of-its-class starship. Two by two or in small groups every crewman found his way back to his loved ones, and Kathryn observed them with a smile on her face and peace in her heart at long last.

One hundred and forty-three crewmembers had already put _Voyager_ behind them. That left the senior staff. One by one they said their goodbyes. Tuvok, not one for affection, was the first to leave the ship. Seven and the Doctor followed, they thanked her for everything and she replied by quoting Gandhi.

"It's been an honor. And remember, Seven, 'Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes,'" The Doctor smiled, Seven merely nodded but Kathryn knew she understood. Samantha and Naomi came next.

"I'll miss you, Captain," said a teary-eyed Naomi and Sam thanked her for everything she had done for both of them all of these years. Kathryn hugged the child and turned to look at Samantha

"It's been an honor, Ensign. I hope to see you soon." She watched attentively as they left, then turned to look at Harry. Her once-very-green operations officer stood as straight as he could.

"Mr. Kim..." she said, "At ease before you sprain something." The phrase mirrored the first time they met and Harry laughed, relaxing in his spot. Kathryn opened her arms and received him in a tight hug. No words were needed. Chakotay handed him his clarinet, which he had given Paris to hold while he said goodbye.

"Play something for us, Man," requested Chakotay. Harry smiled, picked up his clarinet and thought for a minute. His eyes lit up and he burst into Gershwin's _Rhapsody in Blue,_ a piece he knew was one of Kathryn's favorites. The Captain smiled and observed as he started walking away, playing along. Tears began to form, but she bit them back and took a deep breath.

The Parises were the last ones. B'Elanna had Miral in arms, Tom was saying goodbye to Chakotay.

"Thank you, Captain... Kathryn," said the half-Klingon engineer, "Tom won't admit it, but you saved us both. "

"Tom is... well, Tom, B'Elanna. " Kathryn reminded her. B'Elanna laughed and hugged her, tears in her eyes. Tom made one last, quick joke, thanked her and started drifting away followed by B'Elanna.

 **Chakotay**

"Are you ready?" he asked. It was just the two of them left. Chakotay observed as she took a deep breath, composed herself and placed a hand on the closest bulkhead.

"Goodbye, old friend. Thank you...for everything." Then she turned to him and offered him her hand, "Now I am. "

Hand in hand they walked out of the ship. It had been months since they were down on a planet and the blazing, San Francisco sun blinded him for a few seconds.

"Feels good to be home," he heard her mumble and smiled.

"Yes, " he agreed, "It does." To their right side, his eyes encountered a small group of people: Admiral Paris, Picard, his sister, a man he presumed to be Mark, and two other women; Kathryn's family, no doubt. Also in the group was Molly, Kathryn's dog. As soon as she saw Kathryn she ran to her. Kathryn received her, kneeling down to caress her.

"Hi, girl," she said between fighting back tears and a smile, "Hi." She walked over to where the group of people stood.

Kathryn saluted Admiral Paris first, then turned to Picard.

"The Son'a... the Borg... the Romulans. Why do you always get the easy assignments?" She addressed him.

"Just lucky, I guess." She laughed.

He watched her turn to her family. Her blue eyes sparkled like never before. She was on the verge of tears, he could tell. All it took was hugging her mother to send her over the edge.

Chakotay stood aside, next to his sister and nephew. He saw her crumble for the first time in six years. They were finally home, but they were not the same.

 **Kathryn**

Everyone dispersed. Everyone but Chakotay. There he was; looking at her with a smile on his face, reassuring her everything was going to be alright. She smiled back, pushing the tears away. She reached for his hand and pulled him to her. She took refuge in his arms and whispered something in his ear.

"We made it home, my angry warrior. Welcome back." Through the corner of her eye, Kathryn could see her sister. Phoebe was astonished, to say the least. Kathryn observed from the safety of Chakotay's arms as her younger sister beamed excitedly at her mother. She laughed and took his hand.

"Are you ready to meet the Janeway clan?"

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be." She laughed and pulled him to where her mother and sister stood.

"Don't tell me," Phoebe said before she could even open her mouth, "You two are together?" Kathryn laughed, both at Phoebe's words and at Chakotay's face.

"How did she..?"

"We shared a room for eighteen years. I'd be surprised if she didn't know. Plus, Tom said it best. We aren't necessarily the most conventional command team. And yes, Phoebe, we are a couple. Everyone, meet Chakotay. Darling; my sister, Phoebe, and my mother. " Chakotay held his hand out and stretched theirs.

"It's an Honor to meet you two long last." Gretchen forwent the handshake and pulled him into a hug.

 **Chakotay**

So, this was meeting a Janeway. Of all the possible reactions that ran through his head, this was the least expected. Kathryn's face was priceless, however. Her smile reflected in her eyes as she hugged her sister. He knew instantly she was, at long last, happy.

His sister's hand on his shoulder snapped him back to the present.

"I see you've fallen hard this time"

"You have no idea," he answered absentminded.

"Well, are you going to present her to me or not?" _Impatient as always,_ he thought.

Chakotay walked over to where Kathryn stood, talking to her sister and mother. He placed a hand on the small of her back, she turned to look at him.

"Can I borrow her for a second?"

"Be my guest," chirped Phoebe, shooting a look at Kathryn that even Chakotay noticed. He smiled at her and guided Kathryn towards his sister.

"I've met your family, now is only fair you meet mine. Sweetheart, this is my sister. Sekaya, meet Kathryn.

"Hello, Kathryn Janeway, a pleasure to meet you." Kathryn extended her hand.

"It's nice to finally put a face to the name. It's nice to finally meet the woman my brother's gone head over heels for."

"Wow, thanks for throwing me under the bus, Sis," Chakotay commented between a scoff and a laugh. The two women laughed and Kathryn threw a slight punch at his arm. This was what he'd always dreamed of. Kathryn was happy, and so was he.


	6. Everybody's Changing

So little time Try to understand that I'm Trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same -Keane, "Everybody's Changing"

 **Chakotay**

He hadn't seen her in three weeks. Debriefings were over and he was tired, and to top it all off he still wasn't finished unpacking. He'd been offered a position to teach Archeology at the Academy, a proposition that had 'Kathryn Janeway' written all over it. She'd pulled some strings, he knew. He accepted it gladly and was prompted to start the following week. This would be a nice distraction, something else to think about other than her.

The doorbell snapped him to the present. Chakotay closed the 19th-century poetry book, dropping it on the coffee table, and went to open the door.

His brown eyes met blue ones, and before he could react she was all over him, hands around his neck and lips on his. He kissed back and held her close. Spirits, had he missed her!

"I've missed you," she said once they managed to pull away. She smiled and his whole world lit up.

"I can see that," he joked, then got serious, "I've missed you, too. So much."

"I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, it's just the debriefings took a little longer than expected. As soon as they let me go I came to see you." She smiled, then kissed him again. Chakotay sat his hand on the small of her back and guiding her into the living room, crowded with boxes. He listened as the doors hissed shut, then turned to look at her.

"I apologize for the mess, I haven't got a chance to finish unpacking."

"It's been three weeks since we came back. What could've possibly taken so much of your time that you're still unpacking?" she teased heartily, a playful smile on her face. Kathryn took a seat on the couch, next to him.

"Well, I've hardly been in here. Stayed with my sister for a couple of days, then went over to visit some cousins in Colorado. " Kathryn's eyes caught sight of the book and she observed there were a couple of tabbed pages.

"I never figured you for someone to like poetry, Commander," she taunted him lazily, "Nineteenth-century poetry, really? Since when?"

"Ever since I met you." He confessed.

"Do you have a favorite one?" He took the book and flipped through the pages.

"Let's see, where is it? Ah, there it is." He handed the book back to her. Kathryn's eyes shot wide open.

"Of all the poems in this anthology, why did you choose this one?"

"It reminded me of you, and of the first time we met." He nodded and admitted. She blushed in turn with a light smile.

"Read it to me?" He took the anthology away from her, pulled her to her chest and started reading.

" 'I ne'er was struck before that hour

with love so sudden and so sweet,

her face, it bloomed like a sweet flower

and stole my heart away complete."

He kept on reading and observed as she nuzzled closer to him. He stopped reading and looked at her. She was different, lighter somehow. He, then, realized she wasn't wearing her Starfleet uniform, but a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, an oversized sweater tied around her shoulders. Her hair was a couple centimeters longer and tied into a ponytail.

"Why'd you stopped reading?"

"Just looking at you."

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful, " he said simply, setting the book aside and pulling her in impossibly closer, "and you're all mine." Her lips curved into a smile then crashed into his with a force and a passion that left him breathless.

 **Kathryn**

Hours later they lay together in his bed. Their skin was flushed, their hair was tousled, their lips were swollen, and both their hearts were beating with the force of a hurricane. The thin veil of the night had already started to extend over the San Francisco skyline.

"If someone would've told me this a year ago, I would've laughed at them." She admitted.

"Is that so?" She nodded. He kissed her.

"We were stranded in space for seven years, I lost all hope of loving. Anybody, not just you."

"It was a titanic duty, Love, I don't blame you. I saw you every time we lost someone. You'd lock yourself in your ready room for hours."

"Did I?" She looked up to see him, curiosity in her eyes. What else did he know about her that she didn't? Was he observing her all that time?

"Every time," he affirmed. She was astounded. He was aware of things about her that she wasn't, like how she fidgeted with her combadge when she was worried. He never seized to amaze her.

"Have you talked to anyone since _Voyager_?"

"The Doctor called me. He wanted to know if you were adapting to your new surroundings," he scoffed.

"Honestly, I'm finding it a bit difficult. The first week back I didn't sleep for three days. I was missing you and the continuous hum of _Voyager_ 's engines. And to top it all off, my apartment is soundproof."

"Too quiet for you?" he joked with a chuckle.

"You know it!"

 **Chakotay**

For the first time, in weeks, he slept like a baby. When he woke up, she wasn't by his side. He shook himself awake, slightly freaking out. After all of this, they were back to square one? And then he noticed her clothes scattered around the floor and let out a relieved breath.

"Kathryn!" he called out to her. He found her tinkering with the replicator. "There you are," he kissed her neck softly as he pulled her to him.

"Morning," she said, clearly still asleep.

"Morning," he kissed her again, this time on the lips.

"How'd you sleep?" she said, turning around to hand him a cup of coffee. He took it and some toast she had just replicated. It wasn't until she came to the light that he saw what she was wearing. No wonder he couldn't find his sweater.

"Like a baby. How can I not if I had you by my side all night?"

"Good dreams, I hope."

"Oh, believe me, Baby, they were!"

"That's good to hear," she chuckled, "My mother loved you, by the way, and my sister wouldn't shut up about you. They want you to come over for Christmas, seeing as it's only a few weeks away."

"Well, that's quite a relief. My sister loved you, just like I said she would" Chakotay took a bite at his toast, then stretched his out his arm across the table to hold hers. They always felt so right for each other.

"So, what do you say, Commander, are you up for a visit to Bloomington, Indiana?" she joked taking a sip of her coffee while taking his hand in hers.

"You know I'd follow you to hell and back if you'd only asked me to." There was a light in her eyes, a sparkle of happiness that he'd never seen before. Pure, undeniable happiness.

 **Kathryn**

"You know I'd follow you to hell and back if you'd only asked me to." Her heart wanted to explode with happiness. For the first time in years she felt this way: safe, secured, loved, and undeniably happy. And that was when she knew; this man before her was the love of her life, her one and only, her better half until the last of her days and beyond.

When she looked into his eyes, she was welcomed by pure, unending, undeniable love. The kind of love she had only read about in Nineteenth-century novels. And that was all she needed to know. That was all she needed to lep up from her seat and walk to where he was.

She sat on his lap and circled her arms around his neck. They kissed softly, then pulled away. Chakotay's eyes were fixed on her.

"You know, I have to thank you," he pushed a stray hair behind her ear.

"For what?" She had no clue what he was talking about.

"The work proposal, for Starfleet Academy."

"I'm sorry, Darling, but I have no clue of what you're talking about," she said, playing with his hair.

"Come on, Kathryn. You don't need to lie to me. I know it was you who put the word out for me at the Academy."

"What are you going on about? Chakotay, whatever it was, I assure you it wasn't me." His jaw dropped for a few minutes, then proceeded to clear his throat.

"Two days ago, I received a work proposal. A position to teach Archeology at the Academy. I assumed it was your doing."

"No, it wasn't," there was an awkward silence between them, followed by Kathryn's voice in an effort to break it, "So, did you take it?" He smiled.

"Yes, I did. I am scheduled to start next week; although, officially, I won't start teaching until after Christmas break."

"That is great news," she smiled, pulling him in for another kiss, "Congratulations, my love."

"Thanks, Honey."

"Speaking of Christmas, What about your sister? I assumed since it was our first Christmas back home, that you'd want to spend it with your family."

"You are my family," he retorted simply.

"As we say in Indiana, 'Blood is thicker than water.'"

"I know my family is important, Love, but you are also very important to me. I want to spend Christmas with you. I would like us to spend Christmas together, as a couple. Why don't we all go to Bloomington? That is if it's okay with you, of course. Knowing my cousins they're bound to cancel at the last minute. Plus, I'd feel better if only the close family were to be there."

"Sounds like a plan, I love it. I'll call my mother to let her know." she proclaimed.


	7. Silenced by the Night

"I lie in the dark, I feel I'm falling Feel your hand on my back, Hear your voice calling" -Keane, "Silenced by the Night"

 **Kathryn**

Days passed quickly. Kathryn had practically moved in with Chakotay, keeping only a spare few items in her apartment in case of an emergency. Chakotay started working at the Academy and finally finished unpacking the very last of the boxes from _Voyager_ , not that he had many: His medicine bundle, a couple of dreamcatchers here and there, books, clothes, a photo of the crew, a couple PADDS. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Of course, in her case, Kathryn couldn't say the same. For starters, she had tons of books, PADDs, and clothes. As Chakotay was helping her unpack he came across the most interesting stuff: A burnt out relay from the ship, a puzzle piece Naomi had given her, and an all-together smaller box was a few of the things she kept.

Chakotay looked at it intrigued. It appeared to be the size of a shoebox, painted red. The lid was painted black and it had small stars and planets stickers all over it.

"Well well," he teased as he opened it, "What do we have here?"

Inside there were a few items: Pictures from the crew, Naomi and Icheb standing side by side, a rose he'd recognized at the world's end even if it was long dried by now, a small volume of Borges's poetry he'd given her as a birthday present ramshackle by the years of reads and rereads, a couple of PADDs with letters from home, and finally a small, golden pocket-watch; another one of his presents. It was only then, he realized he was staring at her treasures. These were the things that kept her fighting and rolling with the punches when they were out there, stranded in the middle of nowhere.

"You saved this, all this time?" Chakotay pointed at the items inside the box, looking at her. Kathryn nodded, eyes sparkly. Part of her wanted to get rid of the box, the other half, however, was glad he'd found it.

"I had to have something to keep me going for seven years, other than coffee."

"Tell me about it. I was the one that had to put up with the Doctor's lectures as to your caffeine addiction since you wouldn't listen to anybody but me." Kathryn scoffed, then burst into fits of laughter.

"Oh, poor baby," she said, taking a hand up to his cheek and stroking it softly with her thumb, "I am sure the Doctor gave you hell to convince me to leave it." Chakotay chuckled and placed the lid back on the box. Being extremely careful, he took it and placed it in the cabinet next to his medicine bundle.

 **Chakotay**

That night she had a nightmare. Chakotay was in the living room, working on some lesson plans for the Academy when he heard her scream. As it usually was when it was about her, Chakotay jumped to his feet and ran upstairs to their bedroom; only to find her in a corner of the bed, crying.

He approached her slowly, in order to not scare her further, and placed a hand on her back to steady her.

"Kate, Sweetie, come back to me, please?" Slowly, she began to snap out of it, so he kept talking softly, "I'm here, Love, I'm here." Kathryn's eyes found him and she shot forward to hug him. She was strong to have such a lithe frame.

"Hold me?" she whispered.

"All you want, Princess. You want to talk about it?" She shook her head no but her breath was back to normal, which was good. She seemed to have calmed down a little. He starting talking softly, retelling the story of the angry warrior, taking her back to their blissful time together on New Earth. When he looked at her, she'd fallen back asleep in his arms.

"Computer," he said, "lights off."

 **Kathryn**

Kathryn woke up with the first lights of day. She looked to the right side of the bed but found it empty. She walked to the bathroom, took a shower and brushed her teeth; then proceeded to get dressed. She walked downstairs to the living room, where she found Chakotay, asleep on the couch with a meticulous spread of papers and books atop the coffee table. She smiled and walked to the replicator sluggishly.

"Coffee, black," she ordered, and the beverage materialized in front of her. She took a sip of the scorching drink and revelled in the richness of the familiar flavor.

Her eyes shot to the couch when she heard Chakotay mumble something in his sleep. _He must be having a nightmare,_ she thought, approaching the couch carefully.

Kathryn placed her hand on his shoulder and shook it softly. It was in vain, Chakotay didn't wake up and continued mumbling nonsense. She tried again.

"Chakotay," she said as she shook his shoulder softly once again, "Darling, wake up." Nothing. Now she was really starting to worry. _Calm down, Kathryn,_ she thought, _you are not on Voyager anymore._ Kathryn inhaled deeply and tried once more.

"Third time's the charm."

 **Chakotay**

"Kathryn!"

He woke up with a start. Sweat moistened his brow and he felt disoriented and nauseous. Slowly, very slowly, things fell into place. He was home, on Earth. He'd fallen asleep preparing lesson plans for the Academy. Kathryn; she'd had a nightmare.

He meant to get up, but a lean hand on his chest eased him back down.

"Whoa, easy there," her voice was music to his ears, "Are you okay? You were having a nightmare." He leaped up and kissed her deeply. She kissed back, a hint of worry in her eyes.

"I love you," he breathed, heart still pounding like a beating drum, "I love you and I don't want to lose you."

"Hey, listen to me," she joined him on the couch and embraced him as hard as she could, "you won't lose me... ever. I am afraid you are stuck with me, Commander."

The statement brought a smile to his face and he chuckled. She always had the right words, the right actions, when it came to him. It was no surprise that he'd fallen for her. Tom was right; they acted like an old, married couple rather than a professional command team.

"You know," he said, "Tom was right."

"Oh?"

"We do act like an old, married couple rather than a command team." She snorted, playing with his hair.

"I'm afraid that's all we are, now." He laughed gently.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You had a nightmare. A bad one for what I could tell. Took me some time to get you out of it."

"Did I wake you?"

"No, I was down here preparing some lesson plans when I heard you. Hence, the disaster on the coffee table."

"I wouldn't call it a disaster; you're obviously very meticulous." He scoffed.

"Just wait until I start grading papers."


End file.
